Fifty Shades of Fucked Up!

Today I did something I have never ever done before. Yes Never! I sat down with someone and went over my entire dating history. No detail skipped. Very Liberating Experience! VERY!

And while I was going through each phase of my dating history, I realized that I am someone who not only makes same mistakes again, I just don’t learn from them. Fifty Shades of Fucked Up! (Yes, I read Fifty Shades of Cheap Porn and I shamelessly admit I loved it) The Kinky Fuckery made me realize that I have a thing for Dom-Sub, not only in matters of pleasure but in matters of ‘life lived generally’. The irony is that I become a Dom at work and a Sub in my relationship. To me, that’s as funny as “I am a follower who can lead.” BS!

I don’t think I am upset because I think people have cheated me. I am upset because – How on earth do I let a cock cloud my judgment so much? I think even the dumbest person around will be able to see what I don’t. People take me for granted. ALWAYS! I don’t have to go too far. They are all around me. I just don’t know where to draw the line, where to tell someone – ENOUGH!

It surprises me, considering I am a very strongly opinionated person who is equally loud and clear about it. How can someone, as vocally strong as I am, let such things happen to themselves? Do I not see when I am becoming an emotional fool? Do I not see when I am falling in the same ditch over and over and over again? Do I not see it when someone is cheating? Or Do I just live in denial hoping it will disappear?

I suck!

*died from shame and self pity and hoped to reincarnate as Lara Croft*

Miss Motormouth

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