2012: A Personal Review

New-year-2013-good-bye-2012

There are just a couple of days left before another year comes to an end. So much has happened in 2012 that it’ll be a shame if I don’t chronicle it here and I have been meaning to do some posts around it for the longest time now so I decided to take time out today to do a detailed post on 2012.

In the past I have done some shabby posts on resolutions and year recaps and I can easily and shamelessly say that they have been EPIC FAILURES. Here’s the one I did in 2010 and here’s the one I did in 2011.

One thing is clear, like 90% of people who make resolutions, I am no good. (Where did I come up with that figure? My Brain)

Anyway, so here’s the #1 Reason why I decided to do this post.

If you know me, you know how much I hate self help books, self help blogs and all that, however, this blog has been quite a find – The Art of Non-Conformity. If you’ve ever felt like “there must be more” to life, this is for you. I highly recommend it.

This blog is also the reason why I decided to do a personal review of the year 2012. The idea came from this blog where the author has detailed his personal reviews all the way from 2005 up until now. I thought that is a great idea. Much better than making resolutions I will anyway not stick to post January 10. I also do annual reviews at work which btw are a great way to start a professional year because it gives you a sense of background about how the past year went and helps you greatly in setting goals for the next year. I like the idea of doing this for my personal life too.

How is a personal review done?

You ask yourself two questions:

  1. What went well this year?
  2. What did not go well this year?

Here are my answers to these questions:

What went well this year?

  1. I got awarded and promoted within a year of joining the company. This has by far been the strongest sense of accomplishment I have felt in my life. You might think that it is just a promotion and WTH what is such a big deal but here’s what it really feels like. Just two years back when I started this blog, I had completely lost faith in my ability to do something about my life. I felt like I had been wronged by my own self. I felt that I was a complete disaster and I will not be able to do much about my career. And then in April 2011 I landed this job. I have had a dream run at work so far. Yes, I have worked very hard and I pride myself on it. I took initiatives, learnt new things and never shied away from more work. I got awarded the ‘Rookie of the Year’  at the annual company wide conference (which btw came with a hefty amount lol) and got promoted.#Proudofmyself
  2. Stayed out of Debt: All credit card and utility bill payments  were made in full and on time. The bank balance never dipped to negative or even zero. The spending continued but in limits and in rightful amounts. I have no debts what so ever. This also means that one of my resolutions from 2011 was met in full. #YAY
  3. Bonded with my mother: Like all other girls there did come a stage in my life where I thought I will never get along with my mother and I hoped I don’t end up being like her or making mistakes like her. This was the EPIC year in realizing how wrong I was. I now hope that even if I become half of what she is I will be sorted for the rest of my life. This year I bonded with her and spent so much time talking to her which not only helped me with so many persistent issues but also changed a lot of my notions about certain things in life. This is by far the best thing that has happened to me this year. She now is my best friend and my closest confidante and I consult her on more things than I could have ever imagined. I love you mum xx

What did not go well?

  1. Breakup Finally: So the EMIs of breakup actually got over and I and Big broke up two months back for good. For the longest time I had imagined my life with him and so it was really heartbreaking to know that it will not really become a reality. Some say that there are five stages of grief (You can read more about the Kubler model here) I literally have experienced four of them (Denial, Anger,Bargaining & Depression) in entirety with regards to my break up with him and I am in middle of experiencing the fifth (acceptance). Over the last 6 or 8 months I realized that he is definitely the guy I have by far loved the most and been most committed to (Maybe this is what got the better of me). So many of my close friends have told me that they have never seen my like this before, never see me so smitten, so illogical and so committed. Maybe this had to happen for me to learn that no matter what happens in my life, I will always land back on my feet and I will be just fine and that life always always always moves on. I still end up in tears when I think of him or when we talk about some things. All that will probably change in the times to come as I get ready to embark on a new journey next year. #breakupssuck
  2. Dealt with insecure women: This year has been crazy in the sense that at least 3 women have felt that their boyfriend/husband should not speak to me since they might end up falling for me or have already fallen for me. Seriously WHAT THE FUCK? I ended up losing friends in the process and this totally sucks. These women also know how strongly I felt about Big and that I would not even for a second think about being with someone else. Seriously, I do not understand what is it that I do to intimidate these women? At work, I am known for the good work I have done over the past two years and that is exactly how I want to be known as.
  3. A sickness called Anger: This year has been an EPIC year of anger issues. I just couldn’t control my anger throughout the year. There came a point where I thought that all that was left in me was just anger. I was constantly angry at everyone around me. What it really was? Anger issues with myself. I think I have hurt many people with harsh words, harsher expressions and just words full of spite and rage. As funny as this will sound: I still always had their best intentions in mind but i just did not know of an articulate way to putting them and I would lose patience at the drop of the hat when someone did not manage their lives as I advised them to. It hit me a month back that this has to stop RIGHT NOW. Everybody is the master of their own lives and by no means I have the right to yell at someone for not managing their life better for I am not better at it either. Needless to say I am working on my anger and my mother is coaching me through this. #Angerisasickness

So this was my 2012 review and based on this, here are my goals for 2013.

This year I will not set any resolutions and then not stick to them. I will just give this year a theme and I will try to make 2013 an embodiment of the theme I chose. The theme this year is “be fabulous be happier”  (#BFBH)

My goals this year are not unambitious and unrealistic ones such as 1. Be Happy 2. Be wise etc.

My goals this year are:

1. Continue to stay out of debt, possibly save for a contingency fund.

2. Explore one new city alone this year.

3. Put aside 5 minutes everyday to slowly work on the anger issues.

That’s it. Three goals and I am done with the resolution business. These goals don’t have to start from January 1st, these goals don’t have to happen immediately – all that needs to be done is to give myself time and space to grow into a person who is in full control of her emotions and her finances 😀 #2013

I’d like to end this post with a song from Duran Duran – An Ordinary World! (Don’t ask me why – I was listening to it as I wrote this post and felt like it had something in it for me to post it along with this EPIC 2012 post)

 

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