I look back and think about how I was back when I was in London and I can say I was a good girl – simple girl. When I was in London, I used to look back and think about how I was back when I was in DU and I used to think I was a good girl – simple girl.
Am I a good girl today? I don’t think so. The #1 reason being that I am more vocal about my ambitions, competition, sex and sarcasm. Five years down the line will I be able to say I was a good girl – a simple girl back when I started by career? Maybe or maybe not.
I think about things now instead of just categorizing them as moral and immoral. I think about pleasure and the present more than I think about tomorrow and righteousness. I am afraid I will do things I don’t think are right but feel right. Am I growing up or growing out?
I used to think that no matter what… relationships should be kept alive and worked upon day in and day out. I now think relationships that need work are like gangrene, better to cut than to suffer. Bad is no more better than broken. Broken is better than bad.
I am changing and I am not sure if I am ready to embrace this change as yet. I wonder what I will be like if 5 years down the line. I wonder if the goodness will survive. I wonder if desires will take over righteousness. Desire to be the best, desire to work at the top in a corporate world ruled by men, desire to reach where I just dream about, desire to accept that sex is purely an activity of pleasure and that love is merely a word in the dictionary. Desire to accept that money is by far the most important thing in life because you are not known by who you are but by what car you drive, you are not courted for who you are but because you are low maintenance, you are not the one someone will spend the rest of his life with because bills are still paid by money and not love. Desire to tell a man that he is where he is not because of his good work but because he is an ace ass-licker. Desire to tell a man that just because I say two kind words to people at work does not mean I will sleep with them.
Desire will one day precede over righteousness and I see that day coming.
I just cannot wait to post this because it gives me immense pleasure to announce that I am actually 3-4 weeks away from fulfilling one of my resolutions for 2013. You can read about my resolutions here:
#2 Resolution on this list is to explore one new city alone. Well guess what – I am actually flying to Dubai in first week of Feb and will be exploring it on my own. So kicked!!!! This is by far a fab start to the year. I have been telling myself to be completely independent(totally devoid of any dependence on any person or thing both emotionally and financially). This is exactly why I put this on my list of resolutions. And while I was jotting this down, I remembered my first lone trip to London. Back in 2008, I covered entire London on my own and loved every minute of it. So I am really looking forward to doing the same in Dubai!
That’s all for now, I have a lot of work to finish. I’ll be back later!
Finally, the horrendous 2012 is over. This has been such an awful year that I do not even wish to look back and remember all that has happened this year so I will spare all of you the horror of being reminded about the Sandy, Mass Shooting, Gang Rape and other such horrible horrible things that happened this year.
The only thing that I can tell you is that this year taught us that what does not kill us only makes us stronger. It sure does!
Some of the other things I learnt were:
1. Always know where to draw the line. Always!
2. No matter what you do, where you are and who you are..Family is Family!
3. You should only be generous with love and trust when you have learnt to give those things to yourself. #TrueThat
4. No matter what happens to you, no matter how hard your heart breaks, no matter what injures you and your trust, always remember -You will survive! You might think you won’t and others might tell you that you won’t but YOU WILL!
5. Hard Work has no substitutes. Even in an age of smart work and office politics, hard work still rules and will take you far in your career. Just give it a chance!
6. Note to self: You cannot save money so just stop trying! Just buy gold and pay for the insurance as you do now and you’ll be fine!
that’s it! That’s a lot to learn in a year…but I swear I have learnt it like never before. Ask me to brave a breakup now and I’ll tell you that I can, ask me to brave office politics and I’ll tell you I can, ask me to brave people passing away and I’ll tell you I can, ask me to brave people going away and I’ll tell you I sure can. I’ll tell you things I never thought I would learn so soon in life and I am super happy about it. The ‘sooner the better’ is always preferred over ‘late and sorry’.
P.S I just realized that I have never been this happy this whole year as I am today. I feel blessed and content with my life today and if you know me you’ll know how I suck at feeling blessed and content.
So once again – I am answering the same stupid 100 FB Questions again only this time it’s on my blog because I am too ashamed to put them on FB LOL. Yes, you can judge me all you want but until I fly off in February ..all I am going to do is post on my blog and have wine/whiskey. HELL YES I am in highschool.
1. Last beverage? Water
2. Last phone call? Saumya Shukla
3. Last text message? Mansi Bali
4. Last song you listened to? Nobody said it was easy by ColdPlay
5. Last time you cried? No Answer
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. dated someone twice? Yes (only after one week of breaking up with the same person so technically No)
2. been cheated on? Yes
3. kissed someone & regretted it? Yes
4. lost someone special? Yes
5. been depressed? Yes
6. been drunk and threw up? Yaaaa!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
THIS TERM HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends? No
2. Fallen out of love? NO
3. Laughed until you cried? No
4. Met someone who changed you? No
5. Found out who your true friends were? Yes
6. Found out someone was talking about you? Yes
7. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list? Yes
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? Everyone
9. How many kids do you want to have? 3
10. Do you have any regrets? Maybe 1
11. Do you want to change your name? I love my name
12. What did you do for your last birthday? Partied with friends, lunch with girls, hug with Big!
13. What time did you wake up today? 8:30 AM
14. What were you doing at midnight last night? Listening to music and sipping whiskey!
15. Something you CANNOT wait for? 2013
16. Last time you saw your father? 2 Seconds back!
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I wish my sister and my chacha were still around
18. What are you listening to right now? Nobody said it was easy by ColdPlay
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yes
23. What’s getting on your nerves right now? Nothing
24. Most visited webpage? TOI website
1. Whats your real name? Shivani Singh
2. Nicknames? Shivi
4. Zodiac sign? Pisces
5. Male or female or transgendered? Female
6. Infants? Merry Home
7. Junior Schooll? Mira Model
8. High School? Mira Model
10. Hair color? dark brown
11. Long or short? long
16. Height ? 5’2
17. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes
18: What do you like about yourself? My outlook
19. Piercings? ears & nose
20. Tattoos? No
21. Righty or lefty? Righty
22. First surgery? 24th October.2003
23. First piercing? Ears
24. First best friends? Kanchu-First and last! Soulmate
26. First sport you joined?Athletics (Yes no one will believe it)
27. First pet? Dog
28. First vacation? First ever was in himchal when i was 8 months old
29. First concert? Beyonce
30. First crush? Don’t remember.
49. Eating? Walnut Cake
50. Drinking? Wine
52. I’m about to? Finish this blog post
53. Listening to? Nobody said it was easy by ColdPlay (Bitch how many times does this question come up)
55. Waiting for? Something I can’t mention here
YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? Yes
59. Want to get married? Yes
60. Careers in mind? Investor Relations (PR)
WHICH IS BETTER WITH PEOPLE YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE?:
68. Lips or eyes? Lips
69. Hugs or kisses? Kisses
70. Shorter or taller? Taller
71. Older or Younger? Definitely Older
72. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaenous
73. Nice stomach or nice arms? Arms
74. Sensitive or loud? Loud
75. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship
77. Trouble maker or hesitant? Trouble Maker
HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger? No
79. Drank hard liquor? Yes
80. Lost glasses/contacts? No
81. Sex on first date? No
82. Broken someone’s heart? Yes
83. Had your own heart broken? Yes
85. Been arrested? No
86. Turned someone down? Yes
87. Cried when someone died? Hell Yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? Yes Lol
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself? Yes
90. Miracles? Yes
91. Love at first sight? Not anymore
92. Heaven? Yes
93. Santa Clause? Hell Yes
95. Kiss on the first date? Not anymore
96. Angels? Yes
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No
I don’t really remember when and how I got hooked to furniture and home decor but these days I often catch myself looking at decor and furniture sites in my free time and keep pining for my own house to design. I just stumbled upon these two cute portable bars and I totally loved the idea especially since we don’t really have huge houses in Delhi. These little delights can give you the luxury of having your own bar in a Delhi apartment.